0:00:00 - Joanna Newton
Welcome to the Her First podcast, a platform to help online business owners, coaches and creators gain the confidence needed to build a successful business while creating a sustainable lifestyle balance. We are here to help you prioritize yourself in business and life.
0:00:16 - Michelle Pualani
Are you familiar with human design? Now, I'm sure that you've heard of it, even if you don't know exactly what it is. Today, our guest, heather Vickery, is going to give us the background on human design. She's going to read mine and Joanna's charts and along with that we're going to chat about why coming out of the closet was an act of putting herself first, how entrepreneurship is challenging as a mother of four, and why there's nothing about you that needs to be fixed as a transformational success coach and mentor here to help you come home to yourself. Heather, thank you so much for joining us, really looking forward to this conversation today. So, in preparation for this interview, you actually mentioned that working for others didn't go so well for you, which I think sometimes we can all relate to. So could you share with us some of your realizations that really made you understand why you were meant to be an entrepreneur?
0:01:09 - Heather Vickery
Hi, thank you guys for having me. It's so nice to be here going right in on the hard question, and I wish that I had a concrete answer that could just really light everybody up. It just became very apparent to me early, early in my career, right out of college, that while I worked well with people, I didn't work well for people. And I suppose, if I'm taking that apart, the awareness was I wanted to make my own schedule. I don't like to be told what to do, oh, that's type A things. And I just believed in my ability to create something for myself that would thrive and was sustainable. And somehow I got really lucky because I had whatever that you know, thread or bone or whatever it is in your body. That was like, well, screw it, we can just try it. What's the worst thing that could happen? And while I face all sorts of fears that one I was willing to just jump into I've never looked back. It's been almost 25 years. I've been an entrepreneur.
0:02:06 - Joanna Newton
We have an episode we released a couple weeks ago I forget exactly how long about leaving, like, the corporate world to become an entrepreneur. Right, leaving that nine to five and being an entrepreneur. That's something I recently did in my journey. Congrats, thank you. So I've been working for myself 100% since March, so it really hasn't been that long. And one of the things we talk about is some of the factors for me where I like how I knew and I think it kind of also shows some of the things of how you know you wouldn't be a good entrepreneur Things like can you self motivate, like can you get up and do work every day if nobody is giving you that task list, right? That's one of the things that I think is clear that you need to have to be an entrepreneur. There's got to be a little get up and go.
0:02:56 - Heather Vickery
But it's interesting that you say that, because when we look at human design and I know we're not there yet, but I will say it's related some of you and you two happen to be in this category have that motor, that natural inclination to be organized, to get up and to do, and some of us me do not naturally have that. And yet I have still been able to do this. So I will always push back on you have to be super organized or you have to be to work all the time, or you know that hustle not that you said that, but that hustle mentality. What you have to do is understand yourself and what works best for you and use that to your advantage in order to be a successful entrepreneur. And I really just want to remind everybody that your entrepreneurship journey does not have to look like your mentor's journeys. You want to create your own.
0:03:48 - Michelle Pualani
That's one thing I'm really trying to understand as I evolve through this journey of entrepreneurship, and I think from the beginning, I always felt like I needed to look at those people who are successful and replicate what it is that they did. Although you can learn from others' experiences, you cannot copy and paste them onto your own and distinguish them and just expect the same results. That's something that I'm really really trying to lean into and own as an individual and as someone who can bring you know a unique voice to whatever it is that I'm doing, as we each do, and not try to be a replication of anyone else's path in entrepreneurship and that journey.
So your entrepreneurship journey is a little bit mixed. You didn't always start out in human design and coaching. Can you just tell us a little bit about your background and kind of where you started in business ownership?
0:04:38 - Heather Vickery
Yeah, absolutely. And I will just say, before I go into that, that you are 100% right. The thing is you can't copy paste, repeat somebody else's journey, because you are not them and your journey is different. And so, as far as my journey goes, when I was in the workforce I was doing nonprofit events. I opened a couple of hotels. Events was my background and I even did that in college. So I started as a luxury event and wedding planner and built a business.
When I look back at that sincerely and go this was before you guys, this was before the internet. Was the internet Like? If we wanted to meet strangers, we were in like a random Yahoo chat center or something like? We didn't even do that I'm older than Myspace, right, we did not. That was not a thing. So I built a thriving luxury. I wanted Chicago's premier event and wedding businesses without social media.
I don't know how I did that. I did it, though I get. You know, you show up, you do the thing. And while I loved that work, it wasn't my life's work. It's not what lit me up and off. To be honest, right, you know, tip your planners, tip your servers. That is a thankless job, it is a difficult job and it's physically exhausting, it's emotionally exhausting.
And about a decade ago, when I was transforming my entire life, coming to the closet, getting a divorce after a decade of marriage and four kids, and like, okay, I'm 38, who do I want to be when I grow up? What do I want? I noticed that other people saw me as a coach long before I did. They were stopping me, texting me, emailing me, calling me. I want to do this, I want to try this, I want to start this. I think you can help. Will you talk to me? I think you can help.
Now that I have language and it does go back to human design, and I only learned that language a couple of years ago what they were doing was inviting me in and as a projector, that's what I need. I'm like, oh, somebody sees me, they recognize something in me, let me give them everything. And I decided to just try it and I really did cut my teeth on that events industry and they were wonderful to me. They brought me in to speak at their conferences and to coach their teams and to do all of this stuff, and they said, yes, yes, heather, this is it, this is the thing that you should be doing and then I just moved into it and it has evolved and transformed in the last decade, because change is the only constant. It's not ever going to be exactly what it was in the beginning, because we change and what we need changes and what we want changes and who we serve changes. Everybody's different all the time, so it's constantly evolving. But yeah, that was my journey and it's wild to look back and think about it.
0:07:20 - Joanna Newton
I love the thread of transformation that you just shared and I would imagine for you those transformations aren't the end. You're likely going to continue to evolve and change what you do and your business over time and not just be stuck in one thing, one vein.
0:07:39 - Heather Vickery
The work that I do you said, come home to yourself is about that. It's about belonging to yourself, building a foundation of self-trust, worthiness, confidence, intuition from inside, growing that inside of you and then showing up in the world, instead of showing up and hoping you can find your answers outside. And that work never stops because we are always evolving, because what we are experiencing, what life is throwing at us all of those surprises we achieve those dreams, and then we face the same bullshit stories over and over and over again. Right, so they come back, and so you might think, oh, I've tackled that, I don't have that problem anymore. Well, you don't in that situation, but it's probably going to show up again in another one. And so this work is just ever evolving with you.
0:08:25 - Michelle Pualani
And that is the core of what I help people do is learn to like, love and trust themselves at each new phase, so they can come home to themselves and belong to themselves first, Finding that internally first, and I think that we so often, especially in the online space, especially in business ownership, when comparison is rife and easy, all of the concepts that you talked about self-worth, confidence, really not doubting yourself and really trusting that intuition, turning inward and finding that value and uncovering it within yourself as opposed to looking externally at that validation is so much a part of what we talk about on the Her First podcast and what we're trying to each, I think, uncover for ourselves. It's not a done deal. It's not like you wake up tomorrow and you're like, oh, I feel worthy and good and I'm always going to be this confident. No, like we face challenges, we face setbacks, we face these things that are out of our control in our lives and they become a part of our story and it's something that we have to learn to navigate and just continue to reflect and turn back inward and rediscover ourselves and through that process, hopefully then as we move out into the world, that's reflected. Other people receive that, and the way that you came to coaching is not just by happenstance, but really through listening, through paying attention to what people were wanting from you, needing from you, asking from you, and being able to respond accordingly to that, and I think that we're so naturally called to certain things and sometimes we push them down or say, oh, I could never do that or oh, that's not something that I've studied before. I'm not certified in that, but as someone getting started, we think, oh, I have to be here, right, I have to be at this place that I imagine for myself the vision of where I'm headed. I have to be there right now.
But your evolution, it was a journey. You know, starting in the event and wedding industry space is very different from coaching and obviously there are parallels and obviously you bring experience to the table with that. But I think we get so stuck on. If I'm not there right now, then I'm not living my full purpose. Thinking of the wedding and event industry Now, I know that's incredibly demanding. I know coaching is a little less demanding in terms of time and energy and everything else, where you're not schlepping stuff and managing all these different things. But business ownership really has its own difficulties and in preparation for this interview, we really talked about some of the challenges that you faced along the way being a woman in business. So can you tell us a little bit about your entrepreneurship journey as a female identified person and some of the challenges that have come up for you.
0:11:04 - Heather Vickery
There are all sorts of challenges, but there are going to be challenges in whatever field you're in, whatever industry you're in, whether you work for yourself or you work for somebody else. Challenges are just a thing that happen. Some of the ones, though, that I didn't expect, I think, evolve and revolve around the idea of being a good woman, being a responsible woman, being a responsible parent. If you are married and have a partner who brings in, you know, a regular corporate paycheck, you don't often get checked in this way socially like, oh well, gosh, aren't you being selfish? But as a sole provider for my kids, because they have a co-parent, he's a very involved, supportive parent, but I pay all my own bills, right? Nobody helps me pay my bills. I do all of that myself, and some of my children have recently told me that they feel like I didn't put them first because I didn't get a quote-unquote real job, that I don't have something super quote-unquote sustainable, or that my hobby is my job, and I was like, wow, you can't imagine how painful and hurtful it is to hear you say that and, to be fair, I don't know that, that's young kid language, so we can just drop that right there. We hear that from somebody else. But I do think it's this understanding this cultural idea that we have to sacrifice ourselves all the time for everyone else. To be a good woman or a good mother, you have to put everybody else's needs first and I just wholeheartedly call bullshit on that in every possible way.
Yes, sometimes entrepreneurship is feast or famine. It's up and down. I would say that most people experience that until you get to a certain level where the famine part is still higher than what your feast used to be Right, and so it's kind of ebbs and flows and I had to sit with that for a long time Like how did I feel about hearing that? Did that change me? Did I want that I need to go out and get a corporate job? Nope, I don't need to do that because I have a purpose. I have a message.
I change people's lives and my business allows me to be a hands-on, active, involved parent. It means somebody spills chocolate milk on their sweatshirt. I can go down and bring a new set of clothes to school. It means if we have a day off, I can rearrange my schedule and hang out. It means I can go on field trip, I can drive you to school, I can pick you up from school. I can do those things. I chose those things. Not everybody does. Not every entrepreneur parent chooses that. Sometimes you still have childcare.
Whatever you want to do that's the whole point in feminism, right? Whatever you want to do gets to be okay for you and stop telling everybody else what to do. But that struggle and I think within my family, my family doesn't understand what I do Now I'm about to turn 49. They at least have some respect, because I've been doing this for a long time. They don't really understand it and they don't know how I pay my bills. But when I was younger, yeah, there was a lot of pushback about whether or not it was sustainable. Everybody wanted to tell me what I should be doing or how I should be doing it, and I'm not here for that.
0:14:22 - Joanna Newton
Yeah, whenever you do something outside of the norm or outside what people expect for you or for your gender or for where you live or whatever it is, you get insane pushback, like I'm a mom and I have a child, and sometimes every once in a while I get in my head like, am I doing the right thing, being focused on my career, and all of those things Like what will my daughter think? And then I know also that there are statistics that talk about girls with working moms and how they, on average, tend to earn more in their lifetime later down the road because they likely see the value in work. And I also think about my mom who put and sacrificed everything for taking care of her children and is now in a place where she doesn't know what to do with herself. We're all grown up. You know what I mean. Like one day my daughter's gonna be older and moving on with her life. I still need a life and I need those things in my life and I know that. And then what's funny on the flip side, I've definitely relate to you with people like questioning what you're doing and why you're doing it.
On top of that, my husband is a stay-at-home dad. This is something we've talked a little bit about on the podcast. It's amazing. He's amazing, he loves doing it. It started out of necessity. He like had a job he hated. I was finishing up my maternity leave, we didn't know what we were doing for childcare and I was like you hate your job, just quit. Don't keep going to that job you hate, quit. We'll figure it out. And the plan it was supposed to be short term. Well, it's been six years, just gonna happen. It's totally working and I actually know that my corporate income almost doubled in the time that I had a stay-at-home dad supporting me, and then I also was able to start a business while working full time and quit that business, and it was only because of him. So that really makes you think about what stay-at-home moms do for their families. But then what's fascinating is he got lots of pushback.
0:16:32 - Heather Vickery
Of course he did, because men aren't supposed to do that.
0:16:34 - Joanna Newton
Men aren't supposed to do that. And what was funny is we knew someone who, the same time he chose to be a stay-at-home dad, she had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom and got together and we ended up talking about this happening and she said to him well, what are you gonna do all day? And I said the same thing you're going to do all day. It's so insidious. I was outraged in that moment, because when you do something unexpected, people can't handle it. They just can't.
0:17:06 - Heather Vickery
Well, the idea that he would do the stay-at-home person's job right. I actually am in the process. So I have a membership called the Spark Collective and one of the benefits, one of the bonuses I gave to the group is a book discussion. We're reading a book called On Our Best Behavior by Elise Lunan. Cannot recommend it enough. It relates to this. So she actually breaks down the seven deadly sins and how they are the basis of patriarchy and how it's infiltrated, everything. And I'm not religious at all, you do not have to be religious, but she talks about that and how it's so ingrained in our culture to expect these gender norms and okay, you guys will appreciate this. This morning I was picking out a little love note to put in my 10-year-old's lunchbox and they're mostly like cute and chipper and happy. And there was one that said happy girls are the prettiest.
0:18:00 - Joanna Newton
That like hurts me.
0:18:03 - Heather Vickery
Yeah, I don't know if we're doing video with this or if it's just audio.
0:18:06 - Joanna Newton
No, there's video.
0:18:07 - Heather Vickery
Okay, because I'm like you guys need to see the video of everybody's faces and I thought this is the problem. Right, this is. The problem is that they whoever created the little packet of lunchbox love notes was like this will really cheer our girls on today. Just remember to always be happy and then you can be pretty, and pretty has value, and happy, pretty girls are the only girls we want and if you're not happy and pretty, you're broken, right, I was like holy shit, and it related to what we're talking about in the book and all of that. And I told her I was like so let's talk about this. And she was like yeah, that's dumb. And I'm like yeah. And then there's the culture.
And I'm certified in positive psychology and I believe in positive psychology because I know that it works. I've seen the science behind it. I do choose happy most of the time. Sometimes I don't, because we have to be honest about our feelings and go through those self-compassion stages, but I do choose a positive mindset. I do choose to focus on what is good instead of what is bad, but that doesn't intrinsically indicate my value and it doesn't make me quote, unquote pretty or attractive. It's just what works for me.
0:19:15 - Michelle Pualani
One of the things that I've struggled with personally is identifying with this pretty beautiful, gorgeous. You have to be attractive in order to have value. What you just talked about, heather, and even though I'm not a mom, I don't struggle with the partnership and kids and the home care and all of those things which I know, is just another layer of difficulty, but the pressure of being a woman in our world today is inordinately high and it is so much more undue stress on us in terms of how we look up and we've talked about this a little bit before on the podcast, but the financial demand of needing to maintain a certain type of look right was it that the pink tax?
Yep, hair care, makeup, clothes, all of those things that women are supposed to do or can do in some way to better care for themselves. It's very financially taxing and emotionally and mentally in terms of time and we talk about the mental load, right, joanna, from maintaining the household, taking care of the bill, dealing with child care, whether that's doctor's visits or everything else that comes along with it. There's so much to what it is that we do that we don't give ourselves enough credit for and that not really that many other people give us credit for either. Right, we're not really well recognized for that. So I empathize with both of where you are in being mothers and navigating that business ownership because again, it is just a whole other layer and it's difficult and the pressure that we have in our society. It's not only not equitable, downright wrong, it's downright frustrating.
0:20:56 - Heather Vickery
Michelle the interesting thing about that is there's that flip side where if you choose not to have children, you are just as judged and just as held to account for what's wrong with you. I was at a conference last year and a woman in her maybe mid 40s said I don't have children, I'm too selfish to have children. Everybody laughed because it's kind of funny. And then she was like I don't know why you guys think that's funny. I don't want children because I don't want to sacrifice myself in the way that you have to to be a good parent, which is a true statement. And I'm kind of writing this boundary of how am I a really great present parent without constant self-sacrifice? I mean, to some degree, anytime you're in a relationship of any kind, there's got to be some sacrifice to make things work. But I'm not here to completely throw myself on the ground and sacrifice myself for my kids and I don't think that that shows them anything. But the people who choose, especially women who choose not to have kids, you get a whole different set of judgment and rules and then and then and then you get older and you start to go through menopause and all of a sudden you know, I look it in here. I'm like, oh boy, wow, it's really showing. Why do I fucking care? I don't want to care. I really want you guys to know that I don't want to care, and yet I do.
You spend 10 minutes before you go on video. You're like wait, is the lighting good? Is my makeup right? Do I have a waddle? Like? It's disgusting, and that's the one vain thing that I'm having a hard time letting go of. And I'm thrilled to be aging. I like my older self so much better than I liked my younger self, but the physical changes are wild to navigate emotionally. We're talking about entrepreneurs. It shows up. We're all online all the time, right, we're all on video, on camera and talking to people and networking. And you want to think people don't care what you look like, but they do.
0:22:50 - Michelle Pualani
And you don't want to judge yourself, but you do. You can't help it. There's a certain level and I go back and forth because I think there is a balance right. Like we want to put our best selves forward, we want to be presenting a nicely coiffed type of person to some degree, and I think that that's also okay. Like I want to look hot in certain clothing, like I want to look good and I want to feel good, and I think those two things sometimes go hand in hand, not necessarily in the vein of you have to look this way, right, you have to be skinny and fit and you're blonde, but blonde or whatever that you do, I am blonde, I'm so stereotypical it's disgusting.
0:23:36 - Heather Vickery
No, I mean, I guess and that's a huge part of the work that I do with folks as well is you had said it when you want to feel good, it's not about the way you look, and I'll share a really interesting story. In the last couple of years, my weight has fluctuated up or down. I definitely did not feel good. I didn't like the way I felt in my clothes. I was avoiding mirrors Like I didn't want to look at myself because I didn't like it. And I made some changes. So we talked about, briefly, menopause hormones.
I started taking some supplements to help with my perimenopausal symptoms and it changed everything. I started to feel good. I started to have more energy. I didn't crave a bunch of food that was gonna mess with my body chemistry all of that. And a couple of months ago I thought, oh, you know, I like what I see in the mirror, like, look at you, girl, you're about 49 and you look good.
I felt good and I was experiencing more joy in my life and I had a moment where I thought I should get on the scale and see if I've hit that weight I would like to be. And then I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna do that, because whatever that number is is gonna mean something to me. Either I did good I lost weight or you haven't done good enough. You're not there, and what mattered was I felt good and I started having more joy in my life because I felt good. And so in this sort of bite-sized mentor coaching approach that I have with the Spark Collective and my VIP coach on call stuff, it is about how to experience more joy in your life. It doesn't matter how you get there, it doesn't matter what you're doing to get there. When you experience more joy, you show up differently. You show up empowered, you show up ready and engaged. But that is inside work, folks. Nobody can do that for you.
0:25:24 - Michelle Pualani
I didn't get on the scale.
Good for you.
I mean, I spent years in fitness and teaching and coaching functional fitness, boot camps, bar yoga, personal training, like you name it.
I've taught a little bit of it and there's so much tied into how we think about ourselves physically and there's a lot of trauma tied into that. There's a lot of stuff, especially that women carry about the judgment of their bodies when they were changing, when they were putting on clothes, when they were with their mother going out to get dresses, things that they couldn't wear, things that they shouldn't wear Like we've just been told. All of these things that affect the way that we interact with our own bodies, the way that we feel about ourselves and the way that we show up in the world. So that's like a whole world of body shaming and feeling embarrassed and having this relationship with weight loss in terms of the marketing of the fitness and health and wellness industry. Like that's a whole other conversation of manipulation and coercion and changing the look and feel of women's bodies to market products, and so we won't go down that path today. That's another podcast.
0:26:35 - Heather Vickery
What is? It is another podcast. But all of those things that you said. Take out the word health or weight and put in entrepreneurship or put in women in business, and it all still applies with how you should do it, how you're supposed to feel about it. How do you know if you're good at it or if you're successful?
Y'all rewrite the rules. I don't like the rules. I break most of the rules. I think they're dumb. Write the rules that work for you. Obviously you wanna be a good person, you wanna be within integrity, you wanna have values, you wanna follow that moral code. But within that, the rules don't matter. What you get to define what success feels like. You get to define what empowerment feels like. You get to define what is going to be good enough for you, a good foundation to start. It's gotta start from inside. Stop looking for everybody else to tell you what that magic formula is. There isn't one. You've gotta find your own and then it might change. So you've gotta pay enough attention to know when to shift the formula into a new phase that you are in.
0:27:39 - Joanna Newton
Yeah, I love that you say that, because that's exactly why we started this podcast, like exactly why both of us going on this journey to put ourselves first in our business and had been doing that Wanted to share that with the world. But with that understanding that there's like no prescription for your life and there are a lot of marketing business podcasts that try to give you a formula. They say wake up at 5 am, eat this for your breakfast, protein only before two. Like they tell you all these things you know, I think of like the bro marketing stereotypical podcast and it's like well, that sounds horrible. I'm not a morning person. I will not be up at 5 am. I like carbohydrates, I drink coffee with milk in it, like. But these are the things that work for me and I think I'm successful. So, and actually I would say there are metrics in my life that would prove to an outsider that I'm also successful.
0:28:40 - Heather Vickery
For me, the foundation of all that comes back to human design, because we are so differently designed, and you said that I popped over to your chart and I was like, oh, you have that tracks because I can look at your design and I can see that you're not a routine oriented person. I can say I know, I'm skipping ahead. Michelle, michelle's like that is not the order we're going in. I can see that you don't want to do the exact same thing at the exact same time every day, whereas Michelle really likes that routine. Right, you're like, oh, I'm going to get up at the same time I want to eat, kind of the same general thing. I want to be in the same space.
The charts tell me that. And my favorite thing about human design is that it has allowed me to be far more curious and more patient with people and to know that there is not one way. There are lots of ways to create, there are lots of ways to solve a problem, there are lots of ways to get your answers, and each of us are so uniquely individual that it's about discovering yourself instead of well, this person over here that I really liked did it like this and I got to do it like that.
0:29:37 - Michelle Pualani
Learning more about human design is something that I think Joanna and I lean into, because we're really curious about really discovering our own personal strengths and really understanding our own personalities, and I feel like the more time that you spend with really getting to know yourself, the more successful you show up in these areas of your lives.
You start to understand relationships, you start to understand communication, you start to understand the way in which you're meant to live in the world and feel aligned in the world, so that you're not questioning yourself so much.
I think I've spent so much time questioning, doubting and not believing in what I bring to the world and that has, like you said, limited me in so many ways and it's really put a damper on my ability to grow, my ability to focus, my ability to decide, and so, as we've been able to discover more about ourselves I know, joanna, you're super into the personality tests as well, but I feel like the more we start to really know about ourselves, the less we have to think we have to learn from those people with a formula the more that we understand ourselves, the more that we understand our unique qualities, the less we have to look for the step by step, not looking to the bro marketers, not looking to the people, the mentors, who have run businesses successfully and say just do this, this and this, and really know that we can have that kind of fluid approach and also balance.
That's really a lot of what this podcast is about as well is finding that balance balance within ourselves, balance within our lives, balance in our businesses and the brands that we're creating for ourselves. Because we don't want to sacrifice, we don't want to have that sense of oh, we just have to put our heads down, we have to do the work and then someday I'm gonna get to enjoy it. No, I wanna enjoy it right now. Today is the day. We wanna enjoy this in this very moment and in the moments to come. And yes, maybe that delays success, maybe not, who knows?
0:31:42 - Heather Vickery
I'm gonna venture that it doesn't. I think the sooner you lean into that, the quicker you have established success for yourself. I'm just gonna go ahead and go all the way in on that.
0:31:52 - Michelle Pualani
Yeah, and if you look at the metrics, that's one thing that I reflect on as well is that we see a lot of people who have reached, maybe a financial level of success or business success. Maybe they go through an exit, maybe they've reached the multi-millions, maybe they reach you know X Y Z, but they're incredibly miserable. And they wake up one day and they realize that they've sacrificed years of their life, they've sacrificed all of their relationships, they've sacrificed their health, they've sacrificed their sleep and their state of wellbeing, and there are certain things about your wellness that you will literally never get back if you compromise them now. So if you are in a place where you want to just get there you wanna be there, you wanna drive, you wanna do that know that there are things down the road that you will never be able to replace and you will never be able to get back.
And we lost someone recently in our lives and that's been a huge point of reflection for me recently is that what am I doing in investing my time in now that is going to be continuously valuable to me, so that I do not wake up one day and feel like I sacrificed? So that I do not wake up one day and feel like I gave it all away so that I would wake up one day and realize how the hell did I get here? I have all of this money in the bank, but I don't have anyone close to me to share it with or do these things with. So I think there's just a lot of reflection here that someone can do, and I do wanna dive into the human design. So just before we get into it, I really wanna know a little bit more about your coaching philosophy and specifically how you use human design in working with folks.
0:33:27 - Heather Vickery
Thank you for that and it's a nice segue. First of all, I'm really sorry for your loss and I can feel through the computer screen how strongly you feel about this. You can't get it back. I want to soften that blow for folks just a little bit. It's never too late for you to show up for yourself. Never, ever, ever. There is always something you can do to recenter yourself, to support yourself, to show up for yourself, and there are gonna be things that you can't change and that you can't get back. But it's not lost. You haven't fucked it up. Okay, you can still show up for yourself and that is a fundamental part of how I work with clients.
I do this really differently than almost anybody else I know in the coaching field and I also have to say to you, when I had that moment when I was transitioning from wedding planning to coaching, I didn't like the word coach and I'd spent like a whole year coming up with what could I call myself. I wouldn't be coaching, because coaching felt Silly me and dirty, and you know I don't like that approach. And then I met the man who became my coach, who certified me to be a transformational coach, and he changed my life immediately and I saw him on stage and I was like, oh well, he's a coach and he's not gross, so I could, I can do that. Um, but I'm back to switching. You heard me say the coach and mentor kind of moving away from giving people a how to understand into helping you understand why and how to for yourself. I'm not here to tell people what to do. I'm here to help you discover the answers inside of yourself. Is that is what sticks. That is so much more profound when you are your source of awareness, when you listen to yourself, when you know yourself, when you trust yourself, when you have confidence in yourself, that's where the real transformation happens.
And as a projector and human design which I will explain later, as somebody who's a undiagnosed ADHD but I can tell you for sure that I have it. I have kids that have it too. In this fast-paced society where there's everybody's got shit going on, we hate the word busy, but look, we are busy. It just is what it is. I don't want to be tethered to my computer. I don't want to be. I don't want a long webinar. I want things when I want them and I want them in bite-sized content, and so I have restructured my entire business to support people like me who want to like love and trust themselves when they want to.
You want to pump yourself up before you're going to go on stage or you've got to make some sales calls. You want to love yourself because it's been a hard day, you are in the bathtub and you just want to find some peace and calming. So, through my Spark channel, the Spark Collective, that's exactly what we do. It's an eight-dollar month membership and I give content drops using all of my modalities human design, nlp, positive psychology, success coaching, eft, chappie. There's more coming because I'm always learning and they're just bite-sized, like less than 15, 10, 15 minutes for you to do the thing for yourself, to show up for yourself in five or 10 minutes a day. Even if you just do that two or three days a week, you're going to start to shift that narrative for yourself. Even my higher-end coaching is a coach-on-call platform one one-on-one call a month because everybody's schedule is busy and the rest is coach-on-call through the Telegram app because I want to support you when you need it and I want to help you trust yourself. I want to help you understand yourself.
We do that, all of that reflective work. There's a lot of accountability there. We got to show up and do the thing right. We can't just talk about the thing. We got to do the thing, but in a way that's really you-centered, that's Joy-centered. You get to define your own success. Sometimes we got to have those hard conversations, call yourself on that bullshit, but just building that foundation of worthiness and trust within yourself. I don't even know if I answered that question well, but it's so important to me that it be accessible, that it be bite-sized, that it be when you need it and where you need it, instead of forcing you into those confines that you find in so many places where, well, it's once a week for an hour, or it's every other week for an hour, or whatever it is. It just doesn't work for me.
0:37:46 - Michelle Pualani
So, as we head into the next phase of this, you have kindly offered to read mine and Joanna's charts, but could you just give us a brief overview of really what human design is and what can someone can expect from it and why it's so important?
0:38:00 - Heather Vickery
A couple of years ago I was a speaker at the she Podcast conference I don't know if y'all do she Podcast, but shout out to just over at she Podcast and one of my friends just happened to mention human design. I was like, oh, I don't know what that is. I was like what. I was like you're going to love this. And so then I got curious and I went on Instagram and I was checking it out, and what human design is Is a foundational way to expand yourself, to really understand yourself.
It is the combination of several different ancient philosophies the Chinese-Eaching, kabbalah, buddhism, quantum physics, astrology and the chakra system.
And through your birth date, birth time and birth location, I can tell you things about you that I shouldn't know.
I just told you that you don't like routines and schedules, or that Michelle does like routines and schedules, and again, this is a foundation for expansion. There's nothing in human design for you to change or fix, because it is just who you are. It is how you are made, and so when we can know those things about ourselves, we begin to be able to work with them instead of constantly pushing against them. And society tells us we've talked about this the whole time we've been on together that you're supposed to do it one way, you're supposed to do it like this, and if you don't do it like this, you're bad or you're wrong and it's just not true. So you get to do it the way you want. And with human design, I help people do that and I will not coach somebody without knowing their human design type, because it informs me how to ask questions for you to really understand yourself, to understand, to get to those answers, to get to your problem solving, to make decisions, because we all do it.
0:39:46 - Michelle Pualani
So I'm really excited. I know that I've looked at human design before, but for some reason I have this tendency to like look at something and be really interested into it and then it goes away and then I never think about it again. So I'm hoping that the assessment of personality and looking at human design is something that I can start to integrate on a more consistent basis. So you have kindly offered to again be able to review mine and Joanna's charts and give us just a very brief assessment. Now we know that this process is much more in depth and anyone that you work with is going to get a much deeper look into how human design affects their choices, their lives and everything about that. But let's go into a little brief overview, and I don't know if it's helpful for you to start either with Joanna or just myself or just go into it.
0:40:31 - Heather Vickery
Dive right in. I've been thinking about how to best do it. I've never done this live and I love that in the prep we talked about. Well, we can bring it in and we can kind of explore it, because, as you have already discovered, I can't not bring it into the conversation. It's just not possible. There are, I want to say quickly, first of all, when I do custom human design readings, I spend hours creating them and we spend two hours live and it took me a full year to get certified in it. So there is a lot of content. So we're just like the very tip of the iceberg today.
But the first thing to know is that, on a very basic level, there are five different types in human design A manifester, a generator, manifesting generator, projector and reflector. And I very quickly want to explain what each of those are and then I can talk about your charts. So manifestors are inventors, they're instigators, they are here, they come up with ideas that no one has ever thought of before and they are here to drop that information like it's hot and walk away. They're not the doers, they're not the finishers, they are the idea people, and who they're dropping that information to are the generators and the manifesting generators. Those are the folks who are here to go oh, I see that problem, I can fix it. Oh, I see that need, I can build it. Amazing, amazing human beings. And lately I have been hearing from people all across clients and everyone like, oh well, I'm just a generator, like there's none of that, just a generator. Generators get all the shit done in the world. They're amazing. And then they have a motor right. They go and go. And there's one caveat as long as what they're saying yes to is a hell yes, We'll get into that in a minute.
And then projectors, which is what I am and projectors are. We are non-motored beings. We are required to rest before we're successful. Talk about turning all of the stuff we talked about earlier on its ass. Like all of that hustle, all of that, you got to do it this way. I make more money and I am a happier person and a more successful person. When the first thing I prioritize is rest, that was game changing for me. I've always done it, but I always gave myself shit for it. I always beat myself up for it. Those are my like. The core of my limiting voices are all around that and I'm like oh, I'm supposed to be that way.
Projectors are here to guide and lead. We are literally here to guide and lead. We need to be invited into the conversation and then, once we're invited so, we love to give unsolicited advice, but nobody wants to hear it. So once we're invited in, we help people change their lives. It's literally what I do. On top of that, we have channels in human design and they tell you what you sort of your darmic gifts are, and mine is specifically talking about embracing your fear and doing the hard things, and I'm like that's what we do. That's amazing. And then reflectors are mirrors. They are literally here to help people see themselves. It's just they're very rare, but 1% of the global population is a reflector. Do you either of you know your type? Have you already looked or do you remember?
0:43:29 - Joanna Newton
So I actually texted Michelle last night and it was like I don't know, do I look it up first or do I be surprised? She said, be surprised. So I said, okay, I will be surprised. I have a feeling based on I won't tell you my feeling. No, I want to hear it.
0:43:45 - Heather Vickery
What do you?
0:43:46 - Joanna Newton
think you are. Well, like I mean, michelle knows what I mean. Michelle would guess, like I'm probably a generator, Like that would be my guess maybe a manifesting generator, but that would be my guess. If I'm not, I'll be surprised.
0:43:59 - Michelle Pualani
What about you, Michelle? So I have done human design before, but again it kind of is like in one ear out the other. I don't know why I can't retain those things. I thought that I was something like a manifesting generator, but I'm unsure. I think that, also over the evolution of our lives, sometimes we're suppressing things and sometimes we're masking things and sometimes we're not actually acknowledging like who we are at our core, because we've spent so much time trying to fit our environment or to try to meet other people's needs. So I think that with things like personality tests, as you're listening, you've got to decide for yourself. You know, what am I going to take in right now? How is it going to serve me? And over the course of time, how is this going to actually contribute? Maybe later in my life when I've uncovered something else about myself?
0:44:45 - Heather Vickery
Absolutely, and I will go on record as saying that human design really is not a personality test, because it's not you answering questions and I think it was very cute. You're both close but reverse it. So, joanna, you are a manifesting generator Okay and Michelle, you are a generator. Both of you are an. You're an emotional generator, michelle, and Joanna, you're an emotional manifesting generator. I can briefly explain what that is. What I love about that is I think I would have thought opposite for both of you, so it's always a little bit fascinating. I usually get pretty darn close.
The difference in the two is a manifesting generator is a generator. You're like 80% generator. 20% of you has the manifester in you. What sets the two apart is that manifesting generators are naturally multi-passionate. You are designed to try things and explore things and do them until you get what you need from it and then walk away. You get to change your mind.
My youngest daughter is a man, gen, and she sometimes and I'm curious, maybe when you were younger she doesn't like to start anything because she is afraid she's going to be stuck. I'm going to have to keep doing it, because manifesting generators aren't supposed to finish everything. They start, get in and play and explore and you build this toolbox of resources and you just never know when you're going to go. Oh, I can do that, I can do that. I know that. I've got the answer to that and being able to change your mind, giving yourself permission to change your mind, to me has been the freedom key for all of my man gen clients. They're like oh, I'm so used to people telling me just pick something and stick with it. Why are you always changing your mind and that's just the way you're supposed to be? How does that resonate with you, do you?
0:46:29 - Joanna Newton
know. So I had this boyfriend once. Any good conversation, sorry to that. So I grew up in a very religious household and that's important to the story, because my first real boyfriend I was actually like 18, so it was quite age because you don't date unless you're going to marry that person in the world that I grew up in.
And about three months in I knew I didn't like him and I felt so stuck. I was like shit. I mean, obviously I didn't say shit because I was a good religious girl, so I didn't say that then, but I was like shit, what do I do? I don't like him and I was like but I'm stuck here, I'm going to have to marry him and have his child. I remember this feeling and so I just sort of ignored him a little bit until he broke up with me because I didn't feel like I could do that. So eventually he was like you need to spend more time with me and I'm like I'm too busy. This is all I have. This isn't enough for you, sorry. So that stuck feeling I totally relate to and I definitely have left jobs because I felt stuck and I didn't know how to change what I was doing without just peace.
0:47:44 - Heather Vickery
And, but guess what you can piece out? I'm telling you you get to do that, and the idea for a man gen is to be trying new things, exploring new things. And here's where there's overlap between both of you is you both have your sacred lit up. Now, this is not your authority. I'm gonna try and explain that in this short amount of time we have together. You both have emotional authority, which is your decision making process, but your sacred is the absolute, direct connection to your own inner knowing.
For the two of you, it's a hell yes or it's a fuck no. There's no maybe. If you catch yourself in a maybe zone, it is because you either don't wanna disappoint somebody else or you'd really like it to be a yes, but something has to change to get you there. The work that I do with people is to actually physically understand what your hell yes and your fuck no feel like like in your body. Some of my. Well, let me ask either of you when was the last time that you were like hell yes, I want that. Can you identify that?
0:48:48 - Michelle Pualani
I feel like for me it's been a while I think I've been really detached from my emotional, intuitive side, which is something I'm trying to kind of rediscover.
0:48:58 - Heather Vickery
Yeah, what about you, Joanna? Can you recall a?
0:49:01 - Joanna Newton
Oh, I mean starting my business right. So, and in my experience, I have a business partner and we kind of came up with this idea together and I was like, hell yeah, that sounds cool, like I want to do that. And actually what's interesting when I think about my business is we have lots of clients, lots of projects we're working on. One of the really fun things for me is that there are lots of starts and stops right, so my business is one long thing, right. That I said hell yes to. But there's all of these people coming in and out of my life, all of these different topics, all of these different people, and I love that. I love like, okay, you have a course, you have a program, it's a certain topic, a certain project. Let's get you what you need and then let's get someone else what they need and someone else what they need.
0:49:52 - Heather Vickery
That fully tracks, because that's the multi-passionate. Like you want to try something new, what I would coach you through or help you do, or you want to do on your own, is sort of learn what that hell, yes, feels like. So I've had clients who say it feels like an opening in their chest, like oh, yes.
And I've had clients say who? It feels like butterflies, and I've had clients say it feels like this overwhelming sense of calm, like I just feel so settled. I know that's a yes. Then you want to learn what your fuck no feels like. No, like, where is that? The back of your neck? Is it a conclave? Your chest goes in like, oh God, that's no. What does that feel like?
The goal is really to make decisions with your body and not your mind, because minds are super manipulatable, right? What society tells you, what your parents tell you, what your spouse tells you, what your mentors tell you? We get all in that. But your body knows what's right for you. True, for everybody. It doesn't matter what your type is. How you will connect with that intuition is different, based on your type. But for both of you, first you have the hell yes or fuck no, and then you have an emotional authority, which means you both have what we call emotional waves. Neither of you are designed to take big action quickly. Your hell yes or fuck no could tell you whether or not you wanna go to this restaurant or go to this networking event and you can play with that. Y'all do that. The more you can ask yourself yes or no questions and have the people around you ask you yes or no questions. You are gonna be amazed at how you're all of a sudden not indecisive. Would both of you say that maybe you're a little indecisive?
0:51:26 - Michelle Pualani
I feel like I'm super indecisive. I'm actually having this conversation a lot with my husband right now because we're launching this physical product business and so I've always seen myself as like big picture strategy. But then we're ordering like tissue paper and tape and packaging materials. I am procrastinating and wishy washy on making those decisions because I feel like I guess I feel like they're not important.
0:51:49 - Heather Vickery
If you go through those little decisions do I want this one, yes or no? You're gonna amaze yourself. Is it gonna change your life, yes or no? Don't be like, well, is it this one, or is it this one, or is it that one? Or would we want this color? Do you want to? No? Just do I want this one, yes or no? You will know and it will change your life.
I promise you With emotional authority. So you've got that and use that quickly to make decisions that aren't really, in the grand scheme of things, that big of a deal For things that are really a big deal. Your yes or no tells you if you're curious enough to explore it. And then we have what's called the emotional wave, and you guys both have very different emotional waves, but processes that you go through to discover whether or not this is the thing for you or not. So you're sacral. Your yes tells you I want to know more. I'm gonna go down this path, and then I could tell you. If we had more time and if we were doing a private reading, I could tell you exactly what your process is, what your emotional wave is, to make a concrete decision and feel good about it.
It's interesting because people who have an emotional authority, it means your emotional solar plexus is lit up. It's very counterintuitive. You would think that that makes you deeply empathic and you probably both feel that you are empathic, that you're a really good listener, that you feel what other people are doing and you respond to that and you do. But what you don't do is confuse other people's feelings with your own. You are able to see clearly, you can be empathetic but you don't go oh, I hurt because she's hurting. You can go, oh, that's her hurt. I can recognize that hurt, but I don't feel that those of us who have an undefined emotional solar plexus, we absorb other people's feelings and I have to go. Why am I crying in the middle of the grocery store? What is wrong? I was fine five minutes ago. Why am I crying? And I'm like, oh, that woman behind me is really sad and I'm feeling her sad and I have to separate myself from it. So it's a really interesting journey to minimize, just to pull out a couple of highlights. That was true for both of you.
Like I said before, Joanna, you are, you don't. The routines are not for you. Play and explore.
You can have a toolbox, I do. I have the same. They call them variables. You can have a toolbox of whether you're gonna get up and eat one of your five favorite things, or if you're gonna do an EFT tapping or meditation, you're gonna go for a walk, or you can have all sorts of resources and you go. Which one do I want today? What feels good to me today? What? How do I wanna set up my day? You can play it by ear, whereas Michelle, girl, you like structure, You're like mm. I wanna know what's happening, I wanna be aware, I wanna plan it.
My partner has a left-facing upper left arrow variable and she could eat the same thing at the exact same time every day for six months and then she gets tired of it and then she switches it and I'm like how do you do that? Michelle, you have a pretty defined chart. Both of you know your purpose, you know your goals, you know exactly where you're going. That's clear. And you both have a defined throat, which makes sense in podcasting, which means you are here to talk about what you know and people will listen. They can't help it.
The throat is where we manifest from, so you speak it into existence and of course, that's what you do right, it's beautiful. So you can see that you have consistent access to getting your message across clearly, which is really nice. And then, Joanna, you have a defined heart slash will center, which is very rare. Only about 35% of the people in the whole world have it. You have this magical ability to decide you're gonna do something and then just do it, oh yeah. And the rest of us are like how the fuck did you just do that? Everybody else is like what, how did you do that?
0:55:33 - Joanna Newton
That's very true. You know, this is like totally this is not really the same thing, cause we're talking about business, right, but like I didn't think I wanted kids, like me and my husband, we were married for a very long time before we had children and we were like we should have a kid. I was pregnant two weeks later and that's not to speak to. Obviously people struggle getting pregnant. It's not their fault or anything like that but it was like we decided we were having kid the first possible chance I could have gotten pregnant. I did, and then I decided I didn't want to have any more kids and I have not gotten pregnant since. So, like you know, I just decided it was happening and it was there.
0:56:14 - Heather Vickery
Yep, the mind is a powerful thing. I can also tell you quickly. So, michelle, your chart tells me that your best environment is shores. You want to be near water. You want to be on a horizon of something. You can create them if you want. If you aren't actively near it, you can make a shoreline. You can have, like, even a cup of water in front of you, like something where there's a bit of a shift which is, I think, so cool.
Mine is kitchens, and what kitchens means is you want to be where the activity is, where things are being cooked up and created. So I go and work in a coffee shop and I get lit up, like that kind of thing. And, joanna, yours is mountains, which means you want to be up high, you want to have a perspective. So, for both of you, if you find yourself struggling to make a decision or you're just feeling out of sorts, if you go to this environment, so you could go, joanna, to a rooftop deck, go to the top of a building. You want to be able to see out high, from high perspective. You can actually be in the mountains, where you can create a mountain-like experience. You will tap into your knowing and your creativity more quickly, beaming in your best environment.
And that's just like. There's so much more, and if you guys have specific questions, I'm happy to answer them. But those are just some highlights.
0:57:29 - Michelle Pualani
I can see how this can be so incredibly helpful for business owners, right, really again understanding yourself, understanding your decision-making process, understanding where you act the best or where you work the best, finding that environment, finding that space and figuring out what your strengths are and where you can show up as a leader or as an organizer or as a manager or whatever that looks like for you.
So I think being able to learn more about this is really fascinating, and now I'm very curious to really learn more. I do have one question, as someone who feels like I start and stop, like I feel like over the course of my business career, I have a tendency to not successfully like follow things through to fruition. Or I get like 80% through and then the 20% finalizing is really challenging for me. Or I look back and I see like, okay, well, I created this project, I created this program, I created this thing, but I really didn't sell it very well and I didn't launch it very well and I didn't launch it over and over and over again. Is that anyway related to human design?
0:58:32 - Heather Vickery
What I think that is based on my experience and my training is you saying yes to things that are nos. You did it because you thought you should, or you thought you had to, or somebody showed you should try it, and it wasn't the thing that you inherently believed in and wanted to do. And because you're a generator, you're gonna go, you're gonna say yes, you're gonna go and go. Generators can go and go and go and go and go and never get tired. So can man-gents. That that part is the same, as long as what you're saying yes to is a hell yes. So if you aren't putting your whole self into it, it's because you're doing something that you don't believe in, that you're not all the way sold on, and so that initial yes or no is absolutely paramount. And I'll bet you you could go through all of those things that if you just ask yourself yes or no, was I really into that? Did I really love that? You'll see.
And then you pull yourself too thin. You've got. You're trying too many things, you're trying to please too many people. Do something. Other people told you well, this may change my business, and you give it a try, and then you just wear yourself out and then you don't believe in yourself. So there's the snowball. So you don't trust yourself. Oh, I never follow through or whatever. We start to tell stories that become our truth, because whatever you believe to be true is going to be true for you one way or the other, and then you build that foundation of not trusting yourself. Again, that is literally the foundation of all of the work that I do is helping people build that foundation of trust themselves and unwire, decondition all that bullshit. So how does that resonate with you?
1:00:02 - Michelle Pualani
It makes a lot of sense.
It's kind of that perspective of having done a lot of courses, watched a lot of people, tried to find mentors and coaches and paid for services and done a lot of things that were this is should work, this is how it should happen, this is what's worked for me before.
You know all of those things and just feeling like I need to fit into that which is funny because, you know, I hate to say this out loud I mean it's fine, my husband is so right all of the time and I love him and we have such a great partnership. But this is one thing that he has brought up for me a lot, actually, is I've tried to follow someone else's formula, you know, and I've done the work and I've done the steps and followed the process, and he will bring up to me he's like well, just because it works for them doesn't mean it's gonna work for you, and you keep trying to find the system or the process or something outside of yourself in order to make it work, and I feel like it hasn't. And so this is, it's all sinking in and starting to make itself. You gotta bring it home to yourself, yeah.
1:01:04 - Joanna Newton
And when you think about Michelle and I talk a lot about the start of our podcast and like how all of this happened and came to be a lot, and this was initially Michelle's idea and it took me time to say yeah, like it took me some time to say yes, but then I said yes and like I was all in and Michelle, you always say the only reason, like we're still doing it is because you have me, because we have that partnership to push you along. But I think that you just love doing this. You know what I mean. Like I think you love it. Well, of course I love it. It's not just me.
1:01:35 - Michelle Pualani
I know I do, I love doing it, but the difficult thing is that I feel like and again, I don't know how this plays in with human design is I wanna record, I wanna be here, I wanna interview, I love having our guests on, I love this process, but when it comes to the actual execution and the maintenance and the consistency and the continuation, that's Joanna's thing.
1:01:54 - Heather Vickery
Yeah, the chart tells me that.
1:01:56 - Michelle Pualani
Yeah, I really struggle with that, and you can look back and like, if you look at my YouTube, I've got a few videos on there and then it just petered out. And then you look at this and it petered out, and so it's really maybe this is something that I really really care about, and so it is important for me to maintain and continue.
1:02:14 - Heather Vickery
So there are a couple of things that both of you said we can pull out of there that are really fascinating. One is Michelle had already decided this is a hell yes for her. She's curious, she wants to do it. She invited you in and you were a yes. Enough to think about it. You're like that's not a no, okay, let's explore. And then when you were in, you were all in. That makes perfect sense. And then it's you.
You have that defined will, center, that ability to get shit done. That's magical that the rest of us are mind blown at. And when you have an open center, you absorb and amplify somebody else's energies in those particular areas. So together you guys are a powerhouse. You compliment each other. You bring out the things in one another.
So, for example, michelle, you have a defined root and you do not, joanna. I do not have a defined root. Those of us without a defined root cannot handle pressure. We do not like pressure. We want to get it done right now. I want to solve it right now. I need to know. Now somebody called you and said hey, joanna, I really want to talk to you. Can we get a call on the schedule? You'd be like I'm free right now. I need to know what you need, right. Yes, yeah, totally, yep. And cause we don't like the pressure. We can't handle the pressure. We want to unpressur ourselves With a defined root.
Michelle, you do great with last minute stuff. You're great under the gun. You want something done last minute, you ask somebody with a defined root to do it. You are good with pressure. I can handle that right. So you compliment each other and you support one another. That makes perfect sense to me that you're a good partnership with that.
And so in a more detailed custom human design reading, we can even do companion charts right, and we can see how you work together. I have a client right now who we're doing them for her kids. You can, you should, parent your different children differently based on their human design, because a projector child versus a manifesting generator child, they're all very different. I have three different human design types out of my four kids, very, very different.
And I will say, if it's okay right now, when this comes out for the holiday sale we're giving, I'm giving $100 off of a custom human design reading. So if you're like excited about this and into it, come and get one because they are so much fun to do. I love, love, love seeing going through into the weeds with it and seeing people get lit up and get excited and your darmic strengths, what you're here to talk about, where you should sell from as an entrepreneur, like what's the thing that people are looking for from you? How do you? What do you bring to the table? I can tell you all that in your chart.
1:04:34 - Joanna Newton
This is really interesting to talk about. And one thing for me and we won't go down this road, but I have quite the childhood and past and spent a lot of time like being what I needed to be to survive. Yeah, you're not the only one. Yeah, I know there's a lot of us in that boat and I really have, you know, the past couple of years gone on this journey to think about who I am, who I actually want to be, not just who I had to be right. And so for me, things like this and I'm definitely gonna do more research because this was so interesting I think it's really helpful to understand yourself, but then these tools are also really great to understand other people as well. All of that together, I think, is really really helpful. And the more I understand other people, the more I understand myself and all of those things that happens.
But in this journey that I've gone on to really discover who it is I am and what is it I want in life, sometimes, like the end of the day, when the day hasn't gone well or something, I just sit and like why am I the way I am and do you feel like that I need to be fixed. Why am I like this Like? Why can't I be different? But I just can't Like. And then I'm like I can't be different, probably one of the reasons I had to be an entrepreneur, because I would be in these work situations where I was like I can't not care about this project. But if I keep caring about this project, I will lose my mind. Right, like, like, because it's not working.
1:06:00 - Heather Vickery
But I love that you said that. So we promised all the listeners at the very beginning that I was going to tell you how there's nothing to fix, and that's the point. You can't not be who you are so you can spend your whole life fighting it and trying to be something that you're not and be miserable and make all the people around you miserable, or you can really discover yourself. You can really belong to yourself and understand yourself and then approach things differently In a way that works for you, that gets you the results that you want, because it wants you know yourself. You shift how you show up, into conversations, into rooms, into projects, and you can set it up in a way that you will be more successful. There's nothing to change, I mean anyway, outside of human design. You are just right. You are just the way you are supposed to be. Work with that.
All sorts of neuroscience stuff will tell you don't try to get better at the things you suck at. Use the things you're great at to be great at all of the things you need to do. Right, that's huge, huge, huge game changing information and with human design, you just get to know yourself a little bit better. But we do that. You know, in the Spark Collective we do that through EFT tapping meditations or, you know, quick win mini courses or all sorts of different things that just help you remember to set it up your way, to use what you have to your advantage, because you're not broken, there's nothing to fix about you. You just want to work with yourself.
1:07:26 - Michelle Pualani
And recognizing that all of those things are not good or bad, the traits that we're bringing up. There's no good or bad, there's no better, there's no best, there's no differentiating factor on levels, it's just what they are. And I think, the more that I realize and recognize that and the more that I actually own that and internalize that there is no good, no bad, no wrong, no right in what it is that we're doing and how we show up in the world, and that's when I can step more into that ownership. That's when I can become the person that I envision myself to be as a personal brand, as a business, and really represent myself more fully and be of value in some way, is when I can just acknowledge that every single part of me, no matter what that looks like, every trait that I have, is not distinguishable between good or bad or right or wrong. So, as you're listening, kind of starting to think about those things and reflecting for yourself.
So we're about to wrap up here. Thank you so much, heather, for joining us. So wonderful to cover this human design and really understand what it means for each of us. So, heather, you mentioned a special, so I want to learn where can people hang out with you. Where can they find you? How can they reach you?
1:08:35 - Heather Vickery
Thank you. This has been so much fun. We could obviously just keep talking, but you know attention spans and all that. First of all, I want to tell you all that I'm just me. I do have a support team, but if you see me online, it's really me. I want to connect with you and you can actually get a link to all of my stuff by going to vickeryandcodecom. That'll take it's. It's my link tree, but it's on my website, so it'll take you to all.
I'm very active on Instagram. You can find all the good stuff and I did mention that for the holidays and I break all the rules, so I'm like a one day flash sale is annoying to me. So six weeks, all of this is available. Book your human design session and save $100. But also I'd like to offer you guys something really special that I'm not offering to everybody else. That's okay If you're interested in the Spark collective, which is my membership community, which is just so joy filled and bite sized and easy and you can jump in when and where you want with no pressure.
It's $8 a month, which is super, super cheap, but I'd like to give you guys 20% off. If you use code per first, then you can get it for 20% off. For less than a fancy coffee. You can get easy, easy, approachable, bite sized ways to support yourself, to show up for yourself, to come home to yourself and we can have a good time together. So you guys can save 20%. Use code her first, get your custom human design reading. Connect with me on Instagram and let's just get to know each other.
1:09:59 - Michelle Pualani
Thank you so much, heather. And, as a listener, please go find that support, get those resources. It will only help you better understand you, how you show up in your life and how you show up in your business and at her first. That's what we're all about prioritizing you in business and life, and how can you balance between those two.
And today, just to kind of to wrap up, we talked a lot about personality and how we are in the world, and one of the things that I actually want to highlight, heather, that you mentioned, is taking your membership and your work and your content and your business and really formatting it in a way to meet people where they are. And so that's what I kind of want to pull out from today is, as you're creating your content for your business, as you're creating your products, your programs, your services, sometimes we do that in isolation and with a narrow lens or a narrow mindset. So how can you think a little bit larger than that and how can you kind of consider the ways in which you want to meet people where they are and think about their different personalities, their different traits, their different human design, so that you can bridge the gap and not work in isolation. Thank you so much, heather for being with us today.
1:11:08 - Joanna Newton
I know I learned a lot and feel like inspired and like ready to go. I can imagine the way your coaching clients feel like after spending time with you and having access to you. I feel like you have really something special to bring into the world. I'm just honored that you came and talked to us for the hour and read an hour and 22 minute.
1:11:31 - Heather Vickery
Thank you for having me. It was a lot of fun. You both are just fantastic great energy. I'm really really excited to continue the relationship. It was a joy, thank you.
1:11:40 - Joanna Newton
If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe, share and leave us a review. Thanks for tuning in and be sure to catch our next episode. This is one thing you can do today to prioritize you in business and life.
