0:00:00 - Joanna Newton
Welcome to the Her First Podcast, a platform to help online business owners, coaches and creators gain the confidence needed to build a successful business while creating a sustainable lifestyle balance. We are here to help you prioritize yourself in business and life.
0:00:16 - Michelle Pualani
We are wrapping up the year. As 2023 comes to a close, we're starting to think about what was this year like for us. What did we accomplish? What did we move through? What sort of challenges did we face? Did we get to everything that we wanted to get to? And, as we head into 2024, what is this new year going to look like for us?
A new year is a really great opportunity to kind of wipe the slate clean, start fresh and move into the new year with some excitement. So today on the podcast, joanna and I are going to take you through the process of reflecting on this past year, seeing what your accomplishments are and were and how you feel like you might have fallen a little bit short, just so that you can improve as you head into this new year ahead. We're going to think professionally, we're going to think personally and we're just going to ask you some questions so that you can follow along with us and decide what am I going to shift, what am I going to change, what does this new year look like for me and how can I learn from the year past? So in this episode, we're going to set the stage for a really transformative process which looks like a year and reflection and then some clear intention setting as we head into a new year. Now it's really significant to be able to reflect on the time that we've invested into ourselves, into our businesses, into our relationships, into our health, wealth and happiness overall. In doing so, we get to decide where we're going. What does the future look like? What do we want to change? What do we want to shift? What do we want to adjust so that we can work more towards our goals or create the life that we're envisioning for ourselves overall? Really, being able to take this time for self-assessment and self-reflection gives you the opportunity to tune inward, to recalibrate, to check back in with yourself so that you know whether you're on the right path or not. Sometimes we get so stuck in the day-to-day hustle and grind of it all that we don't take the time to pick our heads up and look around and see if we're even working towards the life that we want for ourselves. This is really an opportunity and an investment in who you are, what it is that you're doing, the work that you're envisioning and how you see your future unfolding. Before we get started, joanna and I are going to take you through a few ways to ask yourself questions, to take some time to sit down to reflect and to envision and visualize what this new year holds. Here's just a few suggestions to keep in mind as you move through this process. Now, you don't necessarily have to walk through everything with us today. This is just kind of an overview. We're going to reflect on our stories and share with you some of the learning lessons from this past year and some of our intentions as we head into 2024.
But as you move into this process, don't feel like you have to do all of this at once. Go ahead and mark some time on your calendar. Set some time aside so that you can do this over a week or two and you don't feel like you put so much pressure on yourself at any one given time. Go ahead and block that space out for you and then really create the environment around what it is that you're looking to cultivate. Put on some music, light some candles, make sure that you have some quiet time for yourself to reflect and then really unplug so you might use your phone for some of the reflection points that we're going to talk about today, but turn off your notifications, put it on airplane mode and try to just kind of disconnect from the world for a little while so that you really tune into where you are and what it is that you want to create for yourself.
Really be bold, honest and genuine. This is your time to be radically transparent. No one's going to read this. We're not checking this. This isn't homework. So just giving yourself the opportunity to really tune in where dive deep and be truthful about where you are, your circumstances and what it looks like for you moving forward, and then really just enjoy this process. Have fun. Don't feel like you have to be critical or overly judgmental. It's really good not to analyze too much of what's coming up for you, but just let things flow.
So we're going to start by reflecting on this past year. What we'd suggest is creating some sort of timeline, so from January to December, what does that look like for you? And we're going to really highlight milestones, events, important moments, any failures or achievements that you've accomplished along the way, and anything that's taken place for you that really stands out, any memories that you want to capture. This can be inspired by your calendar as you sort through it, your journal that you've kept, any social media presence that you have, or even just your camera roll to go back and reflect. Oh, this is that trip that happened, or I did this thing, or this came up for me. And as you walk through this, joanne and I are going to share some examples from our stories over the course of the year.
0:05:00 - Joanna Newton
Thank you for setting the stage, Michelle. I'm so excited to do this episode with you today and go through these reflections. You know, my end of 2022, beginning of 2023, was so insanely busy that I really didn't do any sort of normal reflections of 2022. I kind of skipped that step. At the time, I was working full time at a pretty intense job while building Millennial Marketer, which was basically at that point starting to be full-time hours. You know, my work days were basically 5 am to midnight every single day, as I just work to get both jobs done. So I'm excited to reflect with you. Go through 2023. Is that your word? In 2023, right, that's an honest question we're wrapping up 2023.
0:05:52 - Michelle Pualani
Yes, yes, we are. We are headed into 2024. To clarify, this is the end of 2023.
0:06:01 - Joanna Newton
Well, and what's interesting for me about 2023 is it really feels like I've completed five years. This year. What I've packed into 2023 has been really chaotic in a lot of ways, but I've been able to manage and get through it all, and my year is packed with some really interesting milestones. The first thing that I think of when I think of a milestone for 2023 is early in January, I had an ER visit. I was not feeling very well for quite some time. I attributed that in my head to the fact that I was working two full-time jobs. I basically had a cold that never went away and I was sick all the time, but pretty much okay and nothing would help me get over it, and I just thought well, I'm just working two jobs, so that's why this is happening to me.
Early in January, I was dropping my daughter off from school one day and I had been having some weird chest pains over the course of a couple of weeks, but I went to get her out of the car and the pain was so bad that I couldn't move. I thought that maybe I was having a heart attack. I was like, is this happening right now? Like what is going on? And so I went to the ER and I found out in fact I was not having a heart attack. But they found something that they weren't even sure if the tests got right was that my blood platelet counts were very, very low. So normal people's blood platelet counts are between 400,000 per liter of blood and 150,000 per liter of blood, and my results came back that I was at 17,500 blood platelets per liter of blood and that was kind of scary, kind of interesting, and I went on the medication. Blood platelets went up. Kind of thought that that saga was over, but it was not. And it's something I've sort of been dealing with this entire year. Even this morning, before getting on this podcast, I'm talking to my doctor. We're trying to work out a solution to my problem, because my blood platelet countlets will not stay stable and what I'm diagnosed with is called ITP, which basically means your blood platelets are not producing themselves correctly and we don't know why. That is my official diagnosis, which is fun. I've really working this year to try to figure out how to solve this.
So that ER visit was a huge milestone, as it's been, something has been a part of my entire year. Every month, every day is something I'm dealing with. The next big milestone is that I quit nine to five. So I had two jobs. I quit my nine to five. I was able to feel like my business had enough income coming in that I could actually leave that behind and be full time working for myself. So in about March of 2023, I left that nine to five and I've been working full time on millennial marketer ever since.
The next big one for me was attending Kajabi Hero Live, and this is something Michelle and I talk about probably way too much on our podcast. People are like stop talking about this conference, you need to do something else with your life. But it was a really pivotal kind of turning point for me and we can talk more about that as we go through our reflections about why that was, but it was just a really amazing event. It was an amazing event and created some changes in my life. The next big thing was launching this podcast.
Getting on here every single week with Michelle talking about topics that are important to us has really made a big impact on my life and been a big milestone for us. I don't even, as I think about it, when our first episode was, but it was sometime this fall that we had our first episode. The next big milestone I'm excited to share. It might not be the first time it gets said publicly, but it's the first time I'm saying it publicly, like by the time we air this episode, millennial marketer is going to reach a huge milestone in 2023. As we will be hitting half a million dollars in sales in our first full year of business, so we're really excited. It's pretty amazing. So in one year, from January 1st to the end of this year, we'll be hitting that half a million dollar mark in sales.
0:10:31 - Michelle Pualani
That is absolutely phenomenal. Congratulations, I am so excited for you and you deserve all the applause, thank you.
0:10:39 - Joanna Newton
I'm really excited and it's just a testament of what's going to happen in 2024 and into our future as a company, and so I'm excited to see where that goes. But overall, those are my big milestones for the year. Those things really encompass the trajectory my year took and what that was like for me. So, michelle, what are your 2023 milestones?
0:11:04 - Michelle Pualani
This year we didn't hit any as significant financial or like numerical value milestones, which is fine. That's something I'm actually grappling with in terms of being just okay with letting go of the outcome. That's an important part of this conversation today is that we are going to set goals and it's important to have goals because they direct your attention, they direct your focus, they direct your activities and your tasks, but they're not the end. All be all and being invested in the process is so much more important than actually accomplishing and reaching that outcome. Okay, so for me, this year, similar milestones in terms of launching this podcast that has been huge and the consistency of it has really demonstrated to myself that I am capable of certain things that I wouldn't necessarily have thought I was capable of before. So, yes, it's a professional milestone but realistically, personally, it's giving me the confidence to show up in other ways in my business that I hadn't anticipated before. Being able to release nearly 20 episodes of a podcast really makes me feel more empowered to take actions in other ways in my personal and professional life. The conferences have been huge. So not only Kajabi Hero Live for me, but I also went to the Yellow Co conference and then, most recently the Business by Design Live conference, and being able to connect with people in person, specifically in a field and industry where I feel like I've been isolated and alone for so long, was pivotal in being able to change the trajectory of how I thought about my business, how I thought about my life and career path in general, and made me feel so much more connected and aligned with people that I've made personal connections with, and then the community and the groups at large. So that has been a huge pivotal milestone and sense of fulfillment for me moving through this year.
Of course, we launched, to be honest, beverage Company, which is our physical, hemp infused non-alcoholic spirit line, and that has been received with incredible success. We are beyond grateful for everyone who has been not just supportive but just loving the product, sharing the product, wanting to welcome us to events and markets and opportunities and reaching out for collaborative opportunities, and so that has felt really, really satisfying. Because I feel like in the past there are businesses that I've created that haven't necessarily been received all that well, likely because of the marketing, the positioning, the offer, but realistically, this was something we knew. We had a product, market fit for, but you never know, you never know how people are really going to respond, and we have just been receiving a resounding acceptance and appreciation and gratitude, and hearing the stories of other people who are looking for and need a product like this has really enforced the mission and the vision behind the company and brand. So I feel really proud of that and I'm excited and grateful for that huge milestone of getting the company launched and having it be so well received.
And then I think, lastly, through the last year, I feel like I had been really struggling with anxiety for quite some time several years and I feel like progressively, throughout 2023, I've really been able to shed that layer of myself and release a lot of those doubts, those insecurities, the anxiety and the limiting beliefs that have come up for me over the past six years, and that I feel like when I wake up in the morning, I'm feeling fulfilled and I'm feeling successful and I'm feeling accomplished and I'm feeling grateful and happy and really embodying everything that I feel like I've been working toward for so long.
So that's really a personal milestone of mine that I wouldn't say was any one particular point or event or memory or instance, but this general feeling and sensation that's been growing inside of me that I can wake up with confidence and show up in an online setting or in a in-person setting, or be able to connect with others in a way that I hadn't before, and so that for me, has been even if anything kind of the biggest marker of my quote unquote success over the past year and what I'm so grateful to have felt like I accomplished over this time.
0:15:14 - Joanna Newton
When you're someone who is a high achiever or has really big goals for yourself, I think taking time for some reflection is even more important. I know for me sometimes if I'm having a bad day, or sometimes even a bad afternoon, where I feel like I've wasted two hours or didn't accomplish everything I wanted in a day, it's really easy for me to get hard on myself and think what have I done? What have I accomplished? I wasted today or whatever that is. But when you take some time to get out of that hour, that day, that week and have a bigger perspective, looking at a year or a quarter or two years, and that difference and that reflection can really make you realize how far you've come. When you've shared all the things you've done this year, that's a lot, that's amazing. But I'm sure you have moments, like me, that are like what have I done? I could have done more, I should have done more. When, really, when you take that bird's eye view, you can see, wow, I'm in a different place than I was a year ago and that's amazing. I've made progress, I've moved in that right direction.
So, as you're listing out your milestones, think about all of those things that made up your year and were significant moments for you. And then, when you've listed them out and you're looking at that timeline, you're looking at those milestones, think about what some reflections or lessons that you can pull out from what you experienced Answering questions like what are you most proud of accomplishing, what new skills or habits have you developed, what were the biggest obstacles you faced or how have you changed in the past year? Thinking through those types of questions can help you see more meaning in those milestones and in your year as a whole. So, michelle, I'd love to pose those questions to you. When you think about your milestones, what are some of those areas of success or growth that you can pull out for you?
0:17:17 - Michelle Pualani
Sharing this a little bit in terms of the milestones.
Those were really big accomplishments that we shared, things that we've done, highlights and things like these.
Things are very reflective of our success, our growth, the things that we're celebrating throughout the year and in a moment, joanne is going to take us through some of those things that we could maybe reflect it on and improved a little bit more, or things that we fell a little bit short on. But for this in particular, some of the lessons that I've really extrapolated from this year are what I shared a little bit of is the journey, is the point. It's not about the destination, it's not about the goal, it's not about the outcome, it's not about that number or thing that you're working toward. It's about the steps that you take along the way, because that is your life. Your life are the moments that you lead, from one to the next, to the seconds, to the minutes, to the hours, to the days. The days create your weeks, weeks create your months, months create your years. Years literally make up your life. We experience time on that linear fashion, and so I'm really starting to understand and to embody that what matters is the present.
What matters is the here and now. This is where I can affect change, this is where I can shift, this is where I can do things differently. Even though we can project into the future and we can envision and visualize, we really only act and experience in the here and now, and what that means is that the less fixated I am on the future projection or the outcome or the goal, the more I can be embracing the moment, the more I can affect change in the here and now, the more I can shift my attitude, the more I can change my mindset, the more I can address the activities, the tasks, the actions that I'm doing that make up the milestones that get you to the goals. So that's one of the biggest lessons that I feel like I've taken from this year is not focusing on the end result, but rather focusing on the smaller steps, the habits, the behaviors, the moments, all of the things that I can control in the here and now, in the moment. And then I think one of the other big lessons that I've learned this year is to show up in service.
I think for so long I'd question and doubted my products, my programs, my certifications, my trainings, my background, how I was able to deliver, but really that was very selfish of me. It was focused on me. It was focused on questioning myself and my ability and what I was doing, and I wasn't fully committed to understanding, connecting with and really tuning into my audience, my clients, and what it is that my students and members of my community really wanted or needed from me and I've found this with coaching as well is that when I start to get in my head about what I'm saying, how I'm approaching the situation, I start to question and I start to feel insecure or less confident. But when I am so clearly committed to the service of that person, or being there for that person, or listening to that person and really tuning into what is the best that I can do for them right now, or how can I help them grow, or how can this process be the thing that's going to shift or change or transform or give them the perspective that they need, and really thinking about it in terms of like, how can I be here for this other person, for this human, for this community member, in the best way that I know how, and knowing that I will always improve.
Things will always get better in the future. I can always improve skills, get more training and everything else, but that I am satisfactory enough right here and now because I am very clearly invested in that other person. That's one of the big lessons that I've learned as well that it's not so much about me, it's really about them, and when I invest in that service, everything else kind of follows from that in a really, really healthy way. So those are just a couple of the reflections and lessons that I feel like I pulled out from this year with my milestones and my achievements and how I've seen that success and growth over time. Joanna, what does that look like for you from this past year?
0:21:21 - Joanna Newton
Yeah, when I think about the big milestones that I had this year, they're, in a way, pretty big accomplishments Starting a business, reaching financial success, starting a podcast. They're all things that me five years ago was dreaming about, right? All of those things that you're like that's something I want one day. That's one of those things that I want to be. I worked at companies and wanted to help create content and was never put in the fold to help with that, even though I said, hey, I'm up for this, raise my hand, I can help do this. I was turned down at one point in jobs and that was hard because I was like I know I can do this. I know I can create content and be engaging and help people grow and learn and teach. Now I'm doing it myself and have helped something like 65 other people do it this year, 70 other people do it this year. Those feel like really big accomplishments.
I think to an outsider that might look like, oh, that was so easy or it all just happened for you, you're so lucky. But I think about it. Actually, I'm thinking about some past milestones, years ago, when I decided that I needed to start thinking about my personal brand differently, how I showed up at work, how I interacted with people, how I networked with people, how I presented myself online. I've done a lot of work before this year to change that about myself. I remember a moment I went to a conference with a previous job and I was attending and talking with people and people noticed me and thought of me as an expert and were starting to view me as someone who was going to be successful in a bigger level way. I was halfway there. I was like I'm starting to do this. I made intentional changes in my life. I got myself a step further and I got myself another step further. For me, thinking about what I accomplished this year, I attribute a lot of it to the building blocks I've been building for the last 10 years of a career, from the things that I learned in my first job to the mistakes that I made over the past 10 years and have learned and grown from them and made adjustments. I became very intentional about certain things and how I made decisions and what my mindset was and why I would do the things that I would do. Because of that. That's how I experienced the success that I have had in the past year and, I think how I will experience the success in the future. I even think about myself.
The beginning of this year, when I would be pitching myself in my services, I was much less confident about my expertise than I should have been more confident. I should have been like, oh I do know my stuff, I can confidently pinch myself and my services in what I do. But I am so much more confident than I was in January than am I in now in a sales call working with a client, helping them through reaching their goals. It might be night and day difference than a year ago and I really hope a year from now I've made that much more of a leap into that process. Really, my big reflection for this year is that growth and change all builds on itself. The choices you make five years ago affect where you're going to be, and that you can really keep yourself moving in a positive direction towards where you want to go. I love that.
0:25:15 - Michelle Pualani
That idea of that your choices five years ago are dictating who you are and what you experience now. Which is powerful? To recognize that the choices that you make now will determine your one year, five year, 10 years from now. So acknowledging that again, we have the power in the here and now to make that change, but just realizing that your circumstances aren't going to shift dramatically immediately. Tomorrow you are going to be putting in the work, and it is incremental and it may not feel like a lot right now and it may feel like you're still really moving slowly through this process, but just know that you are investing in that future vision of yourself, you are investing in that potential energy and who you're going to be is a reflection of the choices you make today.
0:26:07 - Joanna Newton
So, after you've taken some time to look through your milestones, the things that you've accomplished reflect on your growth, your success, in the past year. It's also important to reflect on those areas where you may have fallen short, failures. You have experienced things you wish you did differently, times that you wish you made a different choice. Really reflect on those things, Not say bad you, you didn't do what you wanted to do, but so that you can learn from them. Nothing is really a failure if you actually take the time to learn from that mistake and move on, and so you can think about what goals you didn't accomplish that you wanted to in that particular year. You can think about, maybe, what your regrets are. What are the things that you wish you did differently? What sorts of habits or beliefs held you back, or what kinds of things you struggled with or were obstacles in your way from achieving success. Michelle, when you think about your milestones, I'd love to know any reflections on areas where you may have fallen short in 2023.
0:27:16 - Michelle Pualani
I think that there are a lot of places where I fell short and this is one of my learning lessons as I evolve through this year is that I have spent a lot of time in judgment and criticism, specifically for myself, yes, for other people as well, but specifically about myself. That negative self-talk, those habits and patterns that I have in limiting beliefs and kind of the way that I feel about myself are very harsh, and so I have really worked and shifted to change that. But when I look back at this past year, one of the milestones that I've listed for myself is actually launching Michelle Poulani the brand, and I do have several opt-ins and this podcast and kind of my marketing and business consulting clients at that level. But I feel like I didn't really grow. I feel like I didn't really reach any success milestones with finances or what I kind of anticipated. This year, to be Granted, we launched a full other brand in business, but that to the side, I feel like I put a lot of time and energy into this brand, into creating content, and I really didn't see the growth and I really didn't see the traction and conversions that I was hoping for. So that's really a point of reflection for me to look back and say, okay, I got started, but I probably faltered, I probably misstepped along the way, I wasn't as consistent and I did get distracted a lot with other businesses, with other opportunities, just with other things. So that's something that I'm reflecting on for myself and saying, okay, I do think that the consistency is important.
I do think that, looking at what I've accomplished and saying I was going at it from this direction and I'm probably going to shift and pivot that a little bit as far as kind of those habits, beliefs, those things in my life that I recognize that I haven't been doing very well, is really one not giving myself enough credit and that judgment, that criticism, that negative self-talk that I thought that I had worked on a lot is still very present, and so that's something that I'm really working to curb and will continue to work on as we head into the new year, because of the ways in which I don't think that I was really successful, especially financially, this year.
This was a really tough year for me financially and I have looked back and recognized okay, these are probably the places in which caused that. These are probably the areas in which I can look to improve and I think the clarity and the focus that's coming in this new year for me and that's coming through these reflection points is really going to help me with the financial piece of, I feel like, where all of my businesses are at this particular time. But I wouldn't change any of that necessarily, and it's been such a great opportunity for me to reflect on my mindset and really shift my attitude in a very positive direction. So it's been influential in the way that I see myself and the way that I see myself in the world and how I interact with the people and the opportunities and the circumstances surrounding me. So what are those things in your life, joanna, that you maybe feel like you could shift, change, you didn't quite reach or accomplish this year?
0:30:28 - Joanna Newton
I think for me, the big thing that holds me back is I am very susceptible to the needs of others over my own or the needs of my overall business. What this looks like is, if I have something I'm trying to work on bigger picture for my business, I often don't feel like I can do it, mindset wise, until all of the client emails are answered, all of my team questions are answered, tend to focus on the immediate thing that needs to be done first, and some of those bigger things that can get me to the next level as a business owner or as in my personal brand, can really be easy for me to push aside I would say this shows up in my work and also my personal life the needs of my friends. Often if my friend needs something that's more important than something that I need on that bigger picture level. I think this comes up basically in most places in my life, and so I think there are things that I wanted to get done that were important to bring my business to the next level that doesn't get done because I think, okay, well, I will do that once my email inbox is cleaned up, all of my team questions are answered Once all that's done and then those like 10 things that I needed to get done for those particular clients. Once all of that is done, then I will work on that thing.
But the problem is is that we are so freaking busy at my company that that actually just never happens. My email inbox is never fully answered and my team questions are never fully answered. What happens is that I'll get into this rabbit, this like hamster wheel of answer all the emails, answer all the team questions, and then I'm like about to do that task, and then I'm like, oh no, but I got 10 more client questions and 10 more team questions. So I go back around the rabbit hole. I'll say I'll do it when it's done and then all of a sudden the day's over because I've just spun round and around and around and I think that cycle keeps me from doing some of the things that I think need to be done.
And I think this is a problem like companies face right, like you can get stuck in certain levels because you can't get out and work on your business instead of in your business. So I don't have an answer for this as of yet. I will try different techniques to get things done, but the reality is, when a client has a launch, a client has a deadline, a deadline, something happens. I have to focus on that and the truth is, getting to that financial goal has to do with my focus on finishing client projects. I get their stuff done. Therefore, we're able to bill and bring more new clients on and hit those financial goals. So for me, I know I need to figure out a way to balance those things, you know, balance the long term and the short term, and that's something I don't know how to do well as of yet, but you know, maybe when we get there that's something I can think about really instituting and figuring out next year.
0:34:03 - Michelle Pualani
And that people pleasing nature, I think feeds really nicely into our next point of discussion, which are our relationships.
You know, I don't think there's an easy answer for hitting that almost like ceiling of activity in terms of being responsive to client, to staff, to other people's needs and questions.
Checking emails, slack, whatever that communication looks like.
The quote of you are the reflection of the five people that you spend the most time with is very, very important here and as we reflect on our past year, we have to very critically look at our relationships that we've cultivated, any new relations that have come up, any consistent ones that are part of your everyday life, whether that's coworkers or family or friends, and you have to kind of start to think about what are these relationships meant for in your life, how are they serving you, how are they not serving you and what sort of toll are they taking on your time, your mental health, your energy levels and the work and output that you're able to accomplish?
So I've heard the term before and I really like it. It's called a friend detox and I know that sometimes this conversation can get a little bit harsh or critical and I don't want you to take it that way, but ultimately we are in charge of who we spend our time with. Maybe you have some coworkers, maybe you have some people in your life, or even family, that okay, yes, you're stuck with them, you have them, but you still get to kind of assess and navigate that relationship in the way that makes sense for you.
So you can't ever change anybody else. You can't change that other person, and that's not the point of this. The point is assessing how you navigate those relationships, the boundaries that you create for yourself, and really assessing whether that person is serving you in your life. And again, that can feel harsh and that feel critical, getting caught in that emotional trap of I've known this person for so long or they're a family member, they need that support, or what kind of a person am I if I don't show up for them or do this for them or be there for them all the time? So I'm going to prompt you with some questions to start to think about when you assess the relationships in your life, so you can start to think about who has had a positive impact on you and in what ways was that positive? Who has held you back and or drained you and in what ways did that show up? And then, who has entered my life and left a clear impression and in what ways?
And then, looking at those relationships, list out all of the people that you spend the most time with your spouse, your business partner, your friends, your family, your co-workers, whoever that looks like in your life and just start to think what are they contributing? What kind of conversations do we have? Do they motivate me? Do they inspire me? Do they make me a better person? Can I connect with them? Or do I feel drained when I spend time with them? Are they always complaining? Are they always fixated on the negative? And you're really starting to bring the awareness to who you are and how you want to show up in the world. And oftentimes, as you start to shift and change that and assess these things, you'll actually start to attract different people. So, Joanna, for you, when you think about the relationships in your life, what is this bringing up for you over the past year?
0:37:33 - Joanna Newton
One thing I find really interesting about myself is I am very good at connecting with the right type of people when it comes to my business life. So the people I allow in to work for me, or my business partner, or you, michelle, with this podcast right the people that I choose to work with and create with, are all people that have a positive impact on my life. They motivate me, they make me better, they apply the right kind of pressure you know what I mean To tell me when I'm wrong in the right way, in a nice way, and help me grow and change and get better and motivate me in life. I think I am less good at this in my non-work life and, while I'm not going to get into all of the nitty-gritty details, this is actually something that is having a profound effect. My last couple of months, some people in my life, things are just not going well on a personal level and I've been reflecting a lot on why that has happened, why I do this to myself, why I ignore red flags that you see I don't in my professional life.
I'm very good at having boundaries and picking the right people and, if something's not right, cutting ties, and we had a client that we chose to not keep working with because it was not a good professional fit.
I can see that very logically and professionally. But then when it comes to my personal life, that's very challenging and I do have a tendency to let people in my life that aren't always the best for me right Don't always create the best environment or a mindset and things like that. My life is kind of weird because I have this like online professional life and then I have an in-person quote, unquote real life. That's more challenging Now my family, my husband, my daughter, who somehow is six, and I would consider her one of my best friends and I know people say don't let your kids be your best friend, but I actually entirely disagree with that. Having a child that is close to you, like that's really amazing. Little nuclear family is fantastic. But something that I am currently reflecting on is how do I cultivate amazing personal relationships and friendships that are not necessarily associated with my work life?
0:39:58 - Michelle Pualani
Again, I think that this can be a really difficult topic for a lot of people, because all of these emotions start to come up and we start to feel guilty, we start to feel bad, we start to feel like we owe these people something but we really don't. And the way that I've started to think about it is there are 8 billion people on this planet and everyone is special and unique in their own ways and they are meant to be with certain people, and I think that's wonderful. And they have their little communities and their little groups. I get to choose that community and group and I can be critical in that assessment and I can decide. If it doesn't work for me with that friendship, that person is going to find someone else that it's probably going to work a lot better for. So just kind of finding those spaces and those opportunities to better look at and adjust and change and see okay, how can I see this as a positive thing for myself and for this other person?
And it doesn't always look like cutting people out of your life necessarily. That's not what we're advising here, but simply to set up the right boundaries, have the right conversations, communicate with these people in your life and say I'm headed in this direction. I'd like if you came along with me. But here are the things that I see problematic about our relationship. Is that something that you're willing on working with me? And I think so much of the communication just isn't there and we just get into this habitual routine of. These are the people that I grew up with. I've known them for so long. Or we work together, we have to be friendly, we have to spend time together and it's just an opportunity for you to sit down, reflect and assess and then you can make that decision from where that goes.
For me, I will say, as a reflection point on this year, it has been hugely instrumental in the way that I see my future and my success to meet people like you, joanna, and those in this world of the digital space, to change me as a person and to change the way that I see the world and to change the way that I envision myself moving forward in my career and in my business.
And before I felt like I didn't know anyone in person who was doing what I was doing and I didn't feel a point of connection and alignment. And it's not to say that I don't love my nine to five friends and people who have their career and their path. But it's just different, and really finding your community, really finding your group, really finding the people who are gonna understand you through and through because of what they're going through is also what you've gone through and you can really connect on the point. So we're really excited. We have a very exciting announcement coming out in the next couple of weeks to address this very point. But just allowing yourself the opportunity to reflect, to find those people who you really truly connect with and cultivate those relationships in a healthy way.
0:42:46 - Joanna Newton
Doing this kind of reflection in various areas of your life can be really meaningful Taking a step back, looking at the relationships, how they affect you, how they help you towards your goals or keep you from hitting your goals, how they make your life more full and more joyous, or how they drain you and take your energy away. You can actually do this type of exercise with anything in your life your career, your health, your wealth, your family. Thinking about what you spend your money on, how you spend your time, what your fitness or diet routine is like, how do those things help benefit you and how do they not. One thing I tend to do maybe quarterly this is a very tangible, practical way to think about this is I try to look at my subscriptions on a regular basis, like what sort of subscriptions am I paying for every month that are taking money from me, looking at them and thinking are they valuable? Are they not valuable? Do they benefit my life, do they not? Maybe there's something you want that you've always wanted and you don't think you have the money for it. You think it would benefit your life, something like oh, I would love audio books. I want an audible subscription. You don't have it because you don't think you have the money for it. But then you realize you have two subscriptions you never use and can replace those things.
I recently just did this for the millennial marketer budget. Went through all of our subscriptions. What can I move to a year? What can I just cancel All of that to tighten up that budget? Taking some time to reflect on what's bringing joy, what is benefiting your life, what's positive and what is keeping you from what you want in life is really important and all about figuring out how to put yourself first in your business and your life. Now we've spent a lot of great time reflecting on 2023, but the next thing we need to do is really set goals and set our intentions for the next year. A lot of times, reflection is great, but if you don't move it into a goal, what's gonna be next for you? You might not see that growth in that path. So make sure you tune into the next episode, because we're going to be digging into goal setting and intention setting as we move into 2024.
0:45:04 - Michelle Pualani
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it with a friend and leave us a review. Thanks so much for tuning in and be sure to catch our next episode. What is one thing that you can do today to prioritize you in business and life?
